HUEVOS VIEJOS

        Have you ever been so determined to accomplish a goal that the potential ramifications, good or bad, were acceptable casualties?  Have you believed in anything so much that you would compromise your well being to see these beliefs realized?  Leonidas did not give a fuck. He killed the shit out of anyone who attempted to alter his ideals. 

        While slaying fools who try to take your rights away from you is an extreme example, I believe that there is a distinct lack of commitment towards accomplishing the goals that we set for ourselves.  My own personal experience over the last decade proves that I have been lacking commitment.  I have acted like a fucking retard a number of times, squandered good opportunities, and let good ideas be forgotten. I even have convinced myself that the excuses that I made for failing were reality and not just pathetic attempts to feel better about my situation. This is neoteric time for me.  I realize that I am exactly where I am in life because I have put myself here. 

        We are capable of so much.  All that we have to do is want to change any part of our lives, believe that we can do it, commit to accomplishing our goals, and we will see wonderful things happen.

        Earl Nightingale is a boss. He was preaching quality shit way back in the day. He focuses on financial gain and professional success but you can apply these laws to accomplish any goal you have in life. I dare you to take his “30 Day Challenge”, even with something small. Stick to it and I promise that you will see good things. If it doesn’t work then you can punch me in the throat. Plus the mother fucker sounds like Optimus Prime!!!!!   Fuck you all very much!

Love, Sam.

        We are going through some major changes here at “Old Balls”.  The staff is working around the clock to get the new format up and running.  Jill from accounting was complaining about the long hours, so I scheduled an emergency meeting today at 3:00 sharp the rec room.  Everybody will get there just in time to see me taking a big hot shit on Jill’s desk. Then we will go around in a circle and tell her all of the things that we don’t like about her.  After that we will enjoy refreshments while we view surveillance footage of her crying in the bathroom.

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        With any luck the new tumblr will be more interactive, more fun, and a great deal more organized. Thanks for your patience! 

Fuck you Jill!!!!!

Love, Sam.

       My brother Jon is a god damned genius. He worked his ass off to put himself through school and earn his Ph.D.  Here is a link to his stupid resume.

-Jon’s stupid resume-

       He has published articles about shit that I could never understand. His dedication to his field of research, makes all of our daily lives a little easier.  He is a man of phenomenal ethic, and he is admired. So why is he such a Sad-Kunt? ; )

                   Because Jon drinks juice. 

       In a recent discussion I made the claim that saturated fat is not directly related to heart disease (a very large and complicated matter with a veritable litany of variables).  Jon disagreed, and then because I was lactating, I yelled at him.  Neither one of us would hear each-others side and then our egos got involved.  We both lost the argument that day.  Sorry I made you cry Jon, and cry you will again when I validate my point WITH SCIENCE!!!!!!

       That evening I could not prove that saturated fat did indeed “not” cause heart disease. This will be part one in a long series of installments I will call “JON THE KUNTY, MUST BE SWAYED WITH SCIENCE”.  I will attempt to free Jon from the grasps of conventional wisdom, and invite him over to the oooeeyyy goooeeyyy dark side. 

       This first lecture is a long one. It is not directly related to our discussion, but please watch the video in its entirety. (at 45:00 min, it gets into the Bio-Chem and Jon you can start to Maxterbate yourself)  Please brace your ears, Dr. Lustig gets a little crass when he comes out and actually says the word “CRAP”,  But don’t worry, they bleep it out.

Love, Sam. 

P.S. Bring me back some sweet British Porn.

TODAY WE BOUGHT A BREVILLE JUICE FOUNTAIN PLUS-

SON, I AM EXCITE-

MY POOP WILL BE FOREVER RED, LIKE THE FEVERISH BEET-

TODAY WILL BE MY FRIDAY-

I WILL FINALLY FINISH THE MAN HOLE FOR STUDYING, MUSIC, DRAWING, AND CREATING-

I WILL POST PICS WHEN I AM FINISHED-

CUT IS GOING WELL, TOOK A DAY OFF AND NOW I HAVE A JUICER-

DREAMT MITCHELL AND I HUNTED SNAKES IN THE DARK AND FOGGY MOUNTAINOUS WOODS WITH MASSIVE HOME-MADE AXES, WE WON. KILLED THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE GOD DAMMED SNAKES-

HUMANS ARE CAPABLE OF AMAZING THINGS, DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND DON’T PUT SUPERFICIAL LIMITATIONS ON YOUR SUPERB ABILITY TO FIGHT EVIL-

LOVE, SAM-

        Hungry time is a dangerous time to make a decision about where to eat.  Without premeditation one will most certainly have to confront their anxiety before the likelihood of settling on the same old comfortable place.  We will then convince ourselves that we made this decision. Did we really want to have the same burger again?  Is there no better burger out there?  Chances are there are much better places to eat, much more fulfilling experiences to be had with new stimulating social environments to behold. So why the same old place?  If we try something new, could we be miss out on what we know is good?  What if the new place has bad bathrooms?  Do I want Mexican? Maybe?

        Ever wait in line at the coffee shop and know its your day for a big-ass cinnamon roll with a big-ass mocha, only to find the heavenly blessed barista at the register? As you walk away with your green-tea and salad, you are pretty sure that you made the choice to eat healthy today. It had nothing to do with the social interaction between you and the foxy coffee lady that frequents your disgusting shameful fantasies.

        Here is another great RSA Animation, about the freedom of choice, and how our perception of the idea may be a little off kilter.  Be honest with yourself and see if you can identify any of these habits in your daily routine.  I know I can.

      http://blog.sub-studio.com/

          By the time that I was a sophomore in high school, I had very few friends that were also sophomores.  I had many close friends but just a few were the same age as me.  It wasn’t because I was lame or that I didn’t like anyone in my class, but it was because I had grown tired with the way they viewed the world. Yet what choice did they have but view it in a similar fashion, they had completed every grade together, and like a herd, were then advanced in unison to the next level of education. I had become great friends with people just a few years younger and older. It was so refreshing to see a completely different understanding coming from people in the same school exposed to the same curriculum, just a different age.

        I was in the 5th grade when there was an earthquake epicentered just outside our town.  I went to school and listened to my class recall what they were doing or thinking when it struck, roughly the same thing with roughly the same perspective.  Although this was a minor Earthquake it was life altering, there was a phenomenal shift in our perspective of the world. The ground had always been constant and for the first time in all of our lives, it shook, it rumbled, and life revealed its fragility. Years later when I recalled the very same event with new friends of different ages, I got very different accounts of the quake. If I had been integrated with different age groups during these life altering instances, could I have benefited from their different perspectives? It is a great disservice to our future to isolate and educate children only within their immediate age group, it is the only time in their lives that this happens. 

        Post academic life requires integration with people of all ages and and backgrounds, we show up for life socially stunted and mentally unprepared for this.  We leave school with broad academic knowledge, a basic understanding of our own language, a very large collection of rudimentary tools, and no specific skill set. We have covered “all” of the basics even “required” all of them, but instilled little in the way of understanding others.

       Here is a great video that I ripped off a bunch of ideas from.  This man is more eloquent and he has an accent. 

       More soon.

        As individuals and as a whole I believe that a phenomenal change is taking place in almost every aspect of life.  We are living under circumstances unlike anything the world has ever dealt with before.  Physical evolution has peaked and started to decline in favor of a more intellectual embodiment. We’ve become pacified with hedonistic distractions and stricken with anxiety due to the overwhelming amount of options at our fingertips. We live in an era where everything is expected to be provided instantaneously, because chances are, it can be. Obtaining information has become almost effortless with a quick search on an Iphone, leaving little to speculate.  So are we realizing our full potential by utilizing this time freed by an age of convenience?  Or are we mesmerized by the subtle suggestions woven intricately into this new way of daily life.  WE BE ZOMBIES!! WE NEED INFO!!!.  This new order of consumerism will definitely attempt to capitalize on the way the next generation will be educated. Unlike any before them, our youth knows only of a life prior to the Internet, prior to social marketing, and prior to this captivated nation through the memories of its elders. But this technology also brings opportunity, so lets not squander it.

       Our 21st Century enlightenment may be to realize that the methods in which we educate our children will likely become ineffective, these previous standards have ultimately failed on a broad spectrum. We need to reevaluate the ideology that has defined our policies for classroom learning by embracing the individual abilities of each student. 

       From an early age children understand their abilities on a subconscious level, removing ego and pride they will gravitate toward what makes the most sense. They are inherently drawn to what comes most naturally, and eventually this becomes physically evident.  If we study and evaluate these tendencies we can guide students down a path that will be most beneficial to their individual success and ultimately, to become a more productive member of society. 

       So where does the tech come in?  Lets place 30 random 10 year olds in a quiet room with one adult in front of him writing on a chalkboard. Holy boring Christ! these kids are complex little fuckers by age 10.  They can play XBOX, update their facebook, and talk on the phone all simultaneously-and this single boring asshole with some chalk, is supposed to stimulate their minds?…yep.  Allot of people thrived in this system,  but many more were a  tremendous “failure”. 

       I am one of those failures.  For example-  I “needed” to learn how to solve equations that already had answers, these answers were already known, and there was a right and wrong path leading to them…..  Gosh, that sounds like fun.  I fucking suck at math and I am sooooo comfortable with that.  So while I am bashing my head against the wall watching everyone else easily understand the arithmetic, I start to feel like a failure.  Meanwhile the other subjects in which I thrive are falling to the side while I try to wrap my head around this jumble fucked number game.  I fall behind in other classes because homework that should take me a 1/2 hour at night is requiring more time than I have.  I start to fail not only math but other classes…..Feeling overwhelmed and incapable……Long story short, I’m a 17 year old drop out who only frequents the home of the Grizzlies to during break and lunch to sell weed to rich kids for far more than its worth. My teenage logic-I’M A FUCKING GENNNNNEEEUSSSSS! 

More soon.

Play the sounds below, read the good news, feel good.

A mothers duck follows trapped ducklings 2 miles until they’re rescued.

Woman arrested for going full retard.

100 years old man finishes marathon.

Love finds a way.