I am getting old. I am growing more comfortable with this. I bought eye cream last week and a part of me died. Yesterday a kid (probably in Middle School) at the grocery store tapped me on the shoulder and handed me a 20$ and said “excuse me Mister, You dropped this.” I’m sure he was just being nice but I threw him into a pyramid of Cheerios and informed him
“I’m Fucking 31!” And “I don’t need your help”. His mom (who was younger than me) gave me the Bertstare……………….
……………and said she was gonna call the police. So i paid for my “Ensure” and drove to Bingo night(I’m Getting damn good, I can do 6 games at once)
All seriousness aside. I quit drinking, I don’t smoke and I workout 5 days a week. I walk the dog and get freaky with the misses on the regular. I watch my diet, meditate, and even do some Yoga from time to time. I would like to think that I am Pretty damn healthy but would my cholesterol reflect this? Why do I have tits? Should my balls hang this low? These are questions that I want answers to. So I scheduled an appointment with my hot Doctor to get checked and I will be sure to post the results.
Meanwhile at the Starbucks….
This Vegan asshole saw what I was researching online and decided to inform me that he has naturally low cholesterol because he doesn’t eat dead animal carcasses high in saturated fat, and that he stays out of the sun and I should too. I tried to reason with him, I wanted to say this-
“Since cholesterol is a precursor to vitamin D, inhibiting the synthesis of cholesterol will also inhibit the synthesis of vitamin D. Since sunlight is required to turn cholesterol into vitamin D, avoiding the sun will likewise undermine our ability to synthesize vitamin D. And since vitamin D-rich foods are also rich in cholesterol, low-cholesterol diets are inherently deficient in vitamin D.”
But instead it came out more like this-
Then he balked at my breve latte and insisted that he loves the flavor of soy milk and can’t believe his mom raised him on cows milk. I told him I thought that drinking another beasts natural infant formula was exciting, and if clean human milk was readily available I would stock the fridge, or I guess I could just hide Brynna’s Birth control…..our poor kid would starve. I admitted that I used to drink soy lattes thinking that it was a healthier option, after all there’s all those adds proving it so, right?
“Your heart works hard for you every minute of the day. Isn’t it time you showed it a little love in return? Very low in saturated fat and 100% cholesterol-free, Silk is a naturally heart-smart choice that you can feel great about.
Every delicious glass of Silk Vanilla provides 6.25 grams of soy protein, which has been recognized by the FDA for its role in heart health. In fact, the FDA asserts that 25 grams of soy protein per day, as part of a healthy diet low in saturated fat and cholesterol, may reduce your risk of heart disease.”
Well if the FDA says so!!!
Damn Phytoestrogens!!! There are more than 300 different foods containing different kinds of these potentially carcinogenic estrogen mimics! They come from three different chemical classes;
Isoflavonoid phytoestrogens- are found in beans from the legume family; soybeans and soy products are the major dietary source of this type of phytoestrogens.
Lignan phytoestrogens- are found in high fiber foods such as cereal brans and beans; flax seeds contain large amounts of lignans.
Coumestan phytoestrogens- are found in various beans such as split peas, pinto beans, and Lima beans; alfalfa and clover sprouts are the foods with the highest amounts of coumestans.
Feminine emotions? Crying during a sad commercial? Radical tits but not where you want them? Here is a great article I read in MensHealth a couple years ago that really changed my mind about soy.
Thanks for your time.
Join me tomorrow for part 2