HUEVOS VIEJOS

        Have you ever been so determined to accomplish a goal that the potential ramifications, good or bad, were acceptable casualties?  Have you believed in anything so much that you would compromise your well being to see these beliefs realized?  Leonidas did not give a fuck. He killed the shit out of anyone who attempted to alter his ideals. 

        While slaying fools who try to take your rights away from you is an extreme example, I believe that there is a distinct lack of commitment towards accomplishing the goals that we set for ourselves.  My own personal experience over the last decade proves that I have been lacking commitment.  I have acted like a fucking retard a number of times, squandered good opportunities, and let good ideas be forgotten. I even have convinced myself that the excuses that I made for failing were reality and not just pathetic attempts to feel better about my situation. This is neoteric time for me.  I realize that I am exactly where I am in life because I have put myself here. 

        We are capable of so much.  All that we have to do is want to change any part of our lives, believe that we can do it, commit to accomplishing our goals, and we will see wonderful things happen.

        Earl Nightingale is a boss. He was preaching quality shit way back in the day. He focuses on financial gain and professional success but you can apply these laws to accomplish any goal you have in life. I dare you to take his “30 Day Challenge”, even with something small. Stick to it and I promise that you will see good things. If it doesn’t work then you can punch me in the throat. Plus the mother fucker sounds like Optimus Prime!!!!!   Fuck you all very much!

Love, Sam.

        We are going through some major changes here at “Old Balls”.  The staff is working around the clock to get the new format up and running.  Jill from accounting was complaining about the long hours, so I scheduled an emergency meeting today at 3:00 sharp the rec room.  Everybody will get there just in time to see me taking a big hot shit on Jill’s desk. Then we will go around in a circle and tell her all of the things that we don’t like about her.  After that we will enjoy refreshments while we view surveillance footage of her crying in the bathroom.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

        With any luck the new tumblr will be more interactive, more fun, and a great deal more organized. Thanks for your patience! 

Fuck you Jill!!!!!

Love, Sam.

       My brother Jon is a god damned genius. He worked his ass off to put himself through school and earn his Ph.D.  Here is a link to his stupid resume.

-Jon’s stupid resume-

       He has published articles about shit that I could never understand. His dedication to his field of research, makes all of our daily lives a little easier.  He is a man of phenomenal ethic, and he is admired. So why is he such a Sad-Kunt? ; )

                   Because Jon drinks juice. 

       In a recent discussion I made the claim that saturated fat is not directly related to heart disease (a very large and complicated matter with a veritable litany of variables).  Jon disagreed, and then because I was lactating, I yelled at him.  Neither one of us would hear each-others side and then our egos got involved.  We both lost the argument that day.  Sorry I made you cry Jon, and cry you will again when I validate my point WITH SCIENCE!!!!!!

       That evening I could not prove that saturated fat did indeed “not” cause heart disease. This will be part one in a long series of installments I will call “JON THE KUNTY, MUST BE SWAYED WITH SCIENCE”.  I will attempt to free Jon from the grasps of conventional wisdom, and invite him over to the oooeeyyy goooeeyyy dark side. 

       This first lecture is a long one. It is not directly related to our discussion, but please watch the video in its entirety. (at 45:00 min, it gets into the Bio-Chem and Jon you can start to Maxterbate yourself)  Please brace your ears, Dr. Lustig gets a little crass when he comes out and actually says the word “CRAP”,  But don’t worry, they bleep it out.

Love, Sam. 

P.S. Bring me back some sweet British Porn.

TODAY WE BOUGHT A BREVILLE JUICE FOUNTAIN PLUS-

SON, I AM EXCITE-

MY POOP WILL BE FOREVER RED, LIKE THE FEVERISH BEET-

TODAY WILL BE MY FRIDAY-

I WILL FINALLY FINISH THE MAN HOLE FOR STUDYING, MUSIC, DRAWING, AND CREATING-

I WILL POST PICS WHEN I AM FINISHED-

CUT IS GOING WELL, TOOK A DAY OFF AND NOW I HAVE A JUICER-

DREAMT MITCHELL AND I HUNTED SNAKES IN THE DARK AND FOGGY MOUNTAINOUS WOODS WITH MASSIVE HOME-MADE AXES, WE WON. KILLED THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE GOD DAMMED SNAKES-

HUMANS ARE CAPABLE OF AMAZING THINGS, DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND DON’T PUT SUPERFICIAL LIMITATIONS ON YOUR SUPERB ABILITY TO FIGHT EVIL-

LOVE, SAM-

        Hungry time is a dangerous time to make a decision about where to eat.  Without premeditation one will most certainly have to confront their anxiety before the likelihood of settling on the same old comfortable place.  We will then convince ourselves that we made this decision. Did we really want to have the same burger again?  Is there no better burger out there?  Chances are there are much better places to eat, much more fulfilling experiences to be had with new stimulating social environments to behold. So why the same old place?  If we try something new, could we be miss out on what we know is good?  What if the new place has bad bathrooms?  Do I want Mexican? Maybe?

        Ever wait in line at the coffee shop and know its your day for a big-ass cinnamon roll with a big-ass mocha, only to find the heavenly blessed barista at the register? As you walk away with your green-tea and salad, you are pretty sure that you made the choice to eat healthy today. It had nothing to do with the social interaction between you and the foxy coffee lady that frequents your disgusting shameful fantasies.

        Here is another great RSA Animation, about the freedom of choice, and how our perception of the idea may be a little off kilter.  Be honest with yourself and see if you can identify any of these habits in your daily routine.  I know I can.